The Snap Count Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
74%POTENCY
-13.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.