The Wide Left Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
- Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
72%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.