The Mystery Tweak Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
79%POTENCY
-15.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.