The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Patterson will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
75%POTENCY
-15.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.