The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
81%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.