The Snap Count Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Patterson is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
- Patterson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
82%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.