The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
87%POTENCY
-10.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.