The Late Scratch Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Patterson's stadium. Only over Patterson.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
- Patterson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
78%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single Falcons jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Eye of Saints, tongue of ref,
Bring Ravens down to grief,
Patterson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.