The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Patterson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
86%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single Steelers jersey, ironically worn
- Powdered kicker confidence
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.