The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
- Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
92%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A single Panthers jersey, ironically worn
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.