The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
76%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
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- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.