The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
75%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A single Cardinals jersey, ironically worn
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Cowboys, tongue of ref,
Bring Ravens down to grief,
Patterson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.