The Late Scratch Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
83%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.