The Doink Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
76%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Chiefs jersey, ironically worn
- A used challenge flag
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Patterson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
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- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.