The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
81%POTENCY
-9.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
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- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.