The Hamstring Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
72%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.