The Wide Left Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
79%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Jake Bates
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.