The Doink Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
- Patterson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
83%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Patterson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.