The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
72%POTENCY
-18.1PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Mark Andrews
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- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.