The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Patterson's stadium. Only over Patterson.
72%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Eye of Seahawks, tongue of ref,
Bring Ravens down to grief,
Patterson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.