The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Patterson trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
75%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.