The Hamstring Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
72%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Bills fan
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Saints locker room
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A single Bengals jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.