The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
80%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A used challenge flag
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.