The Wide Left Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
73%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Bills jersey, ironically worn
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.