The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
74%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.