The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
77%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Patterson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.