The Wind Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Patterson will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
89%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patterson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.