The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
81%POTENCY
-19.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.