The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Patterson trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Patterson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
87%POTENCY
-13.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single tear from a Bengals fan
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.