The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Patterson's stadium. Only over Patterson.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
72%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.