The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Woody Marks
Woody Marks · HOU · RB
“Marks's offensive line takes the day off. Spiritually.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Marks's week
- Marks gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of USC's biggest rival.
- Marks is already "Questionable" with that knee. The witch only has to push gently.
72%POTENCY
-15.8PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Marks's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Woody Marks in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Woody Marks is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Woody Marks actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.