The Butter-Finger Hex of Zachariah Branch
Zachariah Branch · ATL · WR
“Rookie Branch gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Branch's week
- Branch is already "Doubtful" with that hamstring. The witch only has to push gently.
- A mysterious flag erases Branch's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
80%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Jaguars jersey, ironically worn
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Branch's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Amon-Ra St. Brown
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- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
FAQ
How do I curse Zachariah Branch in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Zachariah Branch is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Zachariah Branch actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.