The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
80%POTENCY
-10.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bachman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.