The Inch-Short Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
90%POTENCY
-16.7PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bachman, Bachman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.