The Hamstring Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wake Forest's biggest rival.
- The QB looks at Bachman exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
90%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bachman drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.