The Phantom Holding Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- The QB looks at Bachman exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
- Bachman gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
83%POTENCY
-16.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single Cardinals jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bachman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.