The Late Scratch Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman's coach discovers the run game at the exact moment Bachman was due a breakout.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Bachman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
78%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Bachman, Bachman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.