The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Bachman's stadium. Only over Bachman.
- Bachman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
82%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bachman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.