The Hamstring Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Bachman gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wake Forest's biggest rival.
90%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Bachman's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.