The Hamstring Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Ref: "Number Bachman, that's a flag." Bachman: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
85%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Bachman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.