The Inch-Short Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Bachman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
80%POTENCY
-12.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Bachman drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.