The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Alex Bachman
Alex Bachman · LAR · WR
“Bachman is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Bachman's week
- Bachman gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.
- Bachman is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
74%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Bachman, Bachman, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- Kyren Williams
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Alex Bachman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alex Bachman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alex Bachman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.