The Late Scratch Hex of Alvin Kamara
Alvin Kamara · NO · RB
“Kamara will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Kamara's week
- Kamara finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Kamara tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
79%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Kamara's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
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- Ashton Jeanty
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- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Alvin Kamara in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Alvin Kamara is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Alvin Kamara actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.