The Late Scratch Hex of Andre Szmyt
Andre Szmyt · CLE · K
“Szmyt hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Szmyt's week
- Szmyt warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- Szmyt makes a 58-yarder... in pregame. Not counted.
72%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single Bears jersey, ironically worn
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Eye of Cardinals, tongue of ref,
Bring Browns down to grief,
Szmyt scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Quinshon Judkins
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- KC Concepcion Jr.
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Dylan Sampson
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Denzel Boston
FAQ
How do I curse Andre Szmyt in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Andre Szmyt is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Andre Szmyt actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.