The Garbage-Time Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Cardinals defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
78%POTENCY
-12.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single Ravens jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Cardinals drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.