The Blown Coverage Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cardinals defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
73%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single Vikings jersey, ironically worn
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cardinals, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.