The Garbage-Time Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense gets a pick-six called back for a penalty on... the defense. In the end zone.
- The Cardinals will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
73%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cardinals's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.