The Garbage-Time Hex of Arizona Cardinals
Arizona Cardinals defense
“The Cardinals defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Arizona Cardinals defense's week
- The Cardinals defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.
- The Cardinals offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
92%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cardinals's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Trey McBride
- Tyler Allgeier
- Carson Beck
- Chad Ryland
- Tavien Feaster
- Simi Fehoko
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Indianapolis Colts
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Arizona Cardinals defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Arizona Cardinals defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Arizona Cardinals defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.