The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren's offensive line takes the day off. Spiritually.
- VanSumeren finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-12.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single tear from a Steelers fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
VanSumeren drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.