The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Ben VanSumeren
Ben VanSumeren · KC · RB
“VanSumeren gets stuffed on 3rd-and-1, 4th-and-1, and the goal line. Vulture season is here.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins VanSumeren's week
- VanSumeren gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- A mysterious flag erases VanSumeren's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
81%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Giants locker room
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take VanSumeren's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Ben VanSumeren in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ben VanSumeren is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ben VanSumeren actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.